Yay, Lookout world.....I went through my journal entry from 3yrs ago....and managed to read it with no fear, no problems like I said I would last night.....gotta love moments like that. I really find it interesting....what I wrote...how I wrote it....all that.
So here it is for you to read:
4/9/09 Day 18
Im anxious already again this morning. My heart rate is 98 and Im quite shaky (although my hand writing is ok at this point). G (on of the RNs) suggested taking seroquel before I go out but I dont want to rely on it. Ill just take it when I get back.
I played the piano for a bit this morning to calm myself down but it didnt really work hey!
Im going to get them to put my ipod on charge while Im gone so i can listen to it when I get back.
Ive been sleeping ok at night. The last 2 mornings Ive woken up at 5am and eventually got back to sleep this morning. The zyprexa doesn't make me sleepy anymore at night like it use to the first time I had it. Ive been getting to sleep pretty well too. (although, this is all drug induced and no where near natural sleep). In the mornings I dont feel like crap like the seroquel made me feel. When I was taking that I wasn't getting out of bed til like 9am and now Im getting up at 7.30ish! Zyprexa is soooo much better than seroquel but seroquel is good for the nerves. I hope that when I do go home that Ill bee able to have a script for seroquel as well as zyprexa and efexor.
The world has got a little dizzy this morning just before so I did some breathing to relax and it has taken the edge off a little. Wish mum would hurry up and get here :)
....Shopping went ok with Mum. I felt pretty good when I got in the car but after all the shopping I was pretty anxious and it got worse when I got back here, so Ive had seroquel to calm me down. Mum bought me stacks of stuff. I got 3 nice tops from Rockmans, 2 dresses from Prototype, jeans from target (like I need more lol), 2 t-shirts and shoes frokm Colorado. For lunch we had a yummy spinach and ricotta sausage roll too . Oh and a handbag too from Colorado.
(I also had to go to IMB while I was there and do some transfering for the mortgage, which to Mums surprise, I was able to do - remember the access codes etc, knew what I was doing without a glitch - didnt think anything of it until I saw Mum looking at me quite suprised and when she told Sinclair about it - to which Sinclair thought that that was brilliant! A sign i was getting ready to go home - like Im going to forget numbers!! As if!! This is just one thing I DONT forget or fail at!!)
Im not as anxious as yesturday cos my handwriting isn't as bad and I had seroquel earlier into being back than I did yesturday.
Joh is coming up on Sunday and we are off to have a nice coffee - cannt wait!!
...Just had meeting with X, going to keep me on 2hrs escorted leave and she wants to see Mum on monday or tuesday arvo. She said my cholesterol was a little elevated but will check it again next week and if it has raised she will take me off zyprexa (damn!!) Hope my cholesterol is ok etc cos I dont wanna change meds hey, although zyprexa makes you crave carbs! (those little 2 pack of bikkies in the ice cream container next to the coffee machine never looked so good!)....so changing COULD be a good thing..
So here it is for you to read:
4/9/09 Day 18
Im anxious already again this morning. My heart rate is 98 and Im quite shaky (although my hand writing is ok at this point). G (on of the RNs) suggested taking seroquel before I go out but I dont want to rely on it. Ill just take it when I get back.
I played the piano for a bit this morning to calm myself down but it didnt really work hey!
Im going to get them to put my ipod on charge while Im gone so i can listen to it when I get back.
Ive been sleeping ok at night. The last 2 mornings Ive woken up at 5am and eventually got back to sleep this morning. The zyprexa doesn't make me sleepy anymore at night like it use to the first time I had it. Ive been getting to sleep pretty well too. (although, this is all drug induced and no where near natural sleep). In the mornings I dont feel like crap like the seroquel made me feel. When I was taking that I wasn't getting out of bed til like 9am and now Im getting up at 7.30ish! Zyprexa is soooo much better than seroquel but seroquel is good for the nerves. I hope that when I do go home that Ill bee able to have a script for seroquel as well as zyprexa and efexor.
The world has got a little dizzy this morning just before so I did some breathing to relax and it has taken the edge off a little. Wish mum would hurry up and get here :)
....Shopping went ok with Mum. I felt pretty good when I got in the car but after all the shopping I was pretty anxious and it got worse when I got back here, so Ive had seroquel to calm me down. Mum bought me stacks of stuff. I got 3 nice tops from Rockmans, 2 dresses from Prototype, jeans from target (like I need more lol), 2 t-shirts and shoes frokm Colorado. For lunch we had a yummy spinach and ricotta sausage roll too . Oh and a handbag too from Colorado.
(I also had to go to IMB while I was there and do some transfering for the mortgage, which to Mums surprise, I was able to do - remember the access codes etc, knew what I was doing without a glitch - didnt think anything of it until I saw Mum looking at me quite suprised and when she told Sinclair about it - to which Sinclair thought that that was brilliant! A sign i was getting ready to go home - like Im going to forget numbers!! As if!! This is just one thing I DONT forget or fail at!!)
Im not as anxious as yesturday cos my handwriting isn't as bad and I had seroquel earlier into being back than I did yesturday.
Joh is coming up on Sunday and we are off to have a nice coffee - cannt wait!!
...Just had meeting with X, going to keep me on 2hrs escorted leave and she wants to see Mum on monday or tuesday arvo. She said my cholesterol was a little elevated but will check it again next week and if it has raised she will take me off zyprexa (damn!!) Hope my cholesterol is ok etc cos I dont wanna change meds hey, although zyprexa makes you crave carbs! (those little 2 pack of bikkies in the ice cream container next to the coffee machine never looked so good!)....so changing COULD be a good thing..
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