I'm in the process of dropping my dose of antidepressant (effexor xr)! Its been 2 1/2yrs and until a couple of weeks ago I was on 300mg - the dose prescribed to me in hospital. There is never a good time to come off them, there is always something going on that could trigger a bad patch, a slump in mood, more anxiety....you know, uni has started back, we've bought a house so we have to move, the kids are having to change schools....but hey, why not?! Because I can and I want to and I will. I wanted 12mths ago but Dr M wouldn't let me - it was too early. Fair enough I thought even though I was disappointed. So now that we have moved and I have a new GP I thought I would try him out and see if he would be willing - he was!! But instead of dropping ever so slowly from 300 to 150mg by going to 225mg for a few weeks, Ive cut it in half instantly....not sure if that was a good idea but its done. Before I even went to see him about it I had started taking 300mg every 28hrs instead of 24hrs (because even after 25hrs I could feel the effects of not having those magic pills), and then increased it to 30hrs and then 36hrs for 5 days or so. I was mucking around big time knowing it would hit big time once I did the 150mg dose. The days leading up to doing 150mg I took 300mg in the morning, 150mg that night, 150mg the next mid day, 150mg the following morning, 150mg that night and then strung it out to take 150mg the following night.
I had made it.
Those few days or so - I cant even think how many days it was - not even looking at what Ive just written - I felt like a drunk! My body was shaking (and still is, well certainly feels like it!!), my eyes were (and still are) jumpy with my vision being a little fuzzy white on the edges, the mild diarrhea/constipation started kicking in (and still is), my heart rate is a little nuts and feels like it flutters. I have a constant headache at the back of my head. Every now and then it shoots round to the front of my head and then Ive noticed my 'todds paralysis' headaches are occurring more too which makes half my body go slightly limp and weird!
And don't ask me about cooking! Cakes, biscuits, slices - they turn out crap! I swear I'm not doing anything differently!! And concentrating on conversations is so hard at times - I feel like I'm there but I'm not and I float in and out of concentration. For the first time ever I got done for speeding - a lack of concentration....or was it just good old tiredness at the end of the day with fighting kids in the car? Maybe a combination of both. Either way and letter was written and sent off....wonder if my awesome driving record will still be awesome?? ;)
So, I think its about 10 days now at being at 150mg, maybe less....maybe more. Cant remember, the last few weeks are a slight blur!
So that's all the physical symptoms of coming off an SSRI (selective seretonin reuptake inhibitor). Basically, seretonin is a neurotransmitter in the neural synapses between brain cells. Seretonin crosses the synapse but in mood disorders, anxiety disorders, sleep dep and the like the seretonin isn't taken up enough by the receiving neuron and it then goes back to the neuron it came which causes lower seretonin levels. SSRIs make sure the seretonin cant go backwards and only gets pushed forward which increases its levels. Make sense?
BUT my head is fine. My unconscious is behaving itself like it should and wouldn't expect anything else, but I'm realistic and know that a relapse is possible and that going back up to 300mg is possible also. The other night I tested myself - I was saying "I'm suicidal....(no physical shivers, urges etc)....no I'm not....." and I kept saying it for a while. I know how my unconscious works, I know how to get into it and there is nothing sinister there. I know my triggers and I know that Ive dealt with stuff that I needed to, my chance of relapse is lower than the stats say. Knowing how my brain works, how stimulus works and that my coping mechanisms are all in tact then I know I'm safe. I have a friend who Ive known only a short time and she is great.....she sees through me, shes done psych. Its all good mate!
ITS ALL GOOD!
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