Its 2yrs since I was admitted to hospital today. 2yrs since I was suicidal. 2yrs since reaching out and getting help. 2yrs since the real me came out. 2yrs since i met Ally. 2yrs since medication started. 2yrs.....and gee has that gone fast.
Im not going to go back and read my journals, not going to reflect on the past, not going to talk about it after this little stint, not going to give it another thought.
But I am going to continue to fight, continue to help others, continue to make it known the struggle of MDD, PTSD, BPD, FM, CFS and every other non-visual syndrome out there, continue on with life as I know it.
My motto in every day life for depression is that "I own it, it doesn't own me. I dont suffer from it, it lives with me, it will not bring me down to that place I was 2yrs ago".
I wish for so much in my life and only some of it can come true, but my next step in helping those with depression is looking at TRD (Treatment-Resistant Depression) and how neuroscience can help understand their way of thinking and processing so that their psychotherapy can be more beneficial.
I need to be humanised - coffee. My head feels like it is full of fog with a brick being pushed into my forehead. I have sat down and watched some telly - that felt good while it lasted. But alas, housework will not get done by itself (if only we could work that mystery out....we'd be millionaires!!). So as you go about your day, think of those around you who MAY be suseptible to depression and the like. Think about whether they are going on as if life is normal, yet hiding the deepest, most horrible desease inside them that is eating them away. Why is it that there is so much stigma on people getting help for depression, those who speak up about their feelings and thoughts yet those who are suffering in silence are the ones who are at most harm. Im not dissing those who are out getting help, but they are 'in the system' and can be followed up on.....its those who are suffering in silence, who feel they cannt open up that are in danger. How will you approach that 'taboo' topic?? How will you help them?? What can you do?? What would you do??
I compare Snowy to Mark Priestly (Dan from "All Saints"). Mark was open about his depression and suffering, the ups and downs of being good, then going through bad patches. Its been a few years since his suicide now. Then there's Snowy, who, from what I know, was not open about is agony, about what was killing him on the inside.....2 different events leading to suicidal action.....who is the one you look upon with more sadness?? Who needed more help??
Depression is so much like cancer....it eats at you, stops your body from working properly, you see the effects it has on a person and BOTH are treatable and BOTH can come back time and time again, but treatment is always there, help is always there, support is always there.
If you feel like your at the bottom of your deep dark hole.....just think, if you feel getting further and further down your hole....you'll end up at China.....there is ALWAYS a way out!!
xoxox
Im not going to go back and read my journals, not going to reflect on the past, not going to talk about it after this little stint, not going to give it another thought.
But I am going to continue to fight, continue to help others, continue to make it known the struggle of MDD, PTSD, BPD, FM, CFS and every other non-visual syndrome out there, continue on with life as I know it.
My motto in every day life for depression is that "I own it, it doesn't own me. I dont suffer from it, it lives with me, it will not bring me down to that place I was 2yrs ago".
I wish for so much in my life and only some of it can come true, but my next step in helping those with depression is looking at TRD (Treatment-Resistant Depression) and how neuroscience can help understand their way of thinking and processing so that their psychotherapy can be more beneficial.
I need to be humanised - coffee. My head feels like it is full of fog with a brick being pushed into my forehead. I have sat down and watched some telly - that felt good while it lasted. But alas, housework will not get done by itself (if only we could work that mystery out....we'd be millionaires!!). So as you go about your day, think of those around you who MAY be suseptible to depression and the like. Think about whether they are going on as if life is normal, yet hiding the deepest, most horrible desease inside them that is eating them away. Why is it that there is so much stigma on people getting help for depression, those who speak up about their feelings and thoughts yet those who are suffering in silence are the ones who are at most harm. Im not dissing those who are out getting help, but they are 'in the system' and can be followed up on.....its those who are suffering in silence, who feel they cannt open up that are in danger. How will you approach that 'taboo' topic?? How will you help them?? What can you do?? What would you do??
I compare Snowy to Mark Priestly (Dan from "All Saints"). Mark was open about his depression and suffering, the ups and downs of being good, then going through bad patches. Its been a few years since his suicide now. Then there's Snowy, who, from what I know, was not open about is agony, about what was killing him on the inside.....2 different events leading to suicidal action.....who is the one you look upon with more sadness?? Who needed more help??
Depression is so much like cancer....it eats at you, stops your body from working properly, you see the effects it has on a person and BOTH are treatable and BOTH can come back time and time again, but treatment is always there, help is always there, support is always there.
If you feel like your at the bottom of your deep dark hole.....just think, if you feel getting further and further down your hole....you'll end up at China.....there is ALWAYS a way out!!
xoxox
Well said Laura. Keep up the fight! And again, thanks for your honesty.
ReplyDeleteProud of you Laura, the world would be a sadder place without you. Keep fighting girl
ReplyDeletelike what you said honey...its all so very true...
ReplyDelete