So here I am 4 years on from when I was admitted. Gee time goes fast.
I had an intake interview with a group therapy coordinator through uni the other week, and, as all intake interviews go, we spoke about my past.
We spoke about everything that happened as a teenager, then when I was admitted to Mirrabook.
Her take on what the traumatic event that triggered / was at the start of all my depression (being the peanut in my lung incident) was that it wasn't too long after that (a few years) that the depressive thinking etc started. So it doesn't have to be 'traumatic' as such but more of a negative 'memorable' event that occurs before the symptoms start.
And as I drew my timeline on the whiteboard for her I realised just how good it is to timeline things - I know it all in my head and when things happened, but seeing it in order was such an eye opener.
I told her how every now and then I try to force myself out of my body (for those of you who have been there - been mentally ill - you will know what I mean.). I try to make myself 'grow', to float up to the ceiling but I just cannt get it to happen - although I managed to do it once about 12mths ago I think it was - but it didn't last too long and once I was back down into my body I couldn't do it again. So when I was talking to the coordinator about it she was very impressed that I wasn't trying to avoid or ignore that sort of thing, but that I was actually trying to force it to happen.
The group therapy thing will be great, cannt wait for it to start. I should post about it when it gets started hey. And it is existentialist therapy - very interesting!!!
And I'm 4.7kg off what I weighed 4yrs ago too! How good is that!! I've been focusing so much lately on foods and exercise that I wonder if my perfectionism is going to get out of control or even if its starting to get out of control. I'm so focused on getting below 70kg, and determined to be below 65kg. The saying "exercise to be fit, not skinny' doesn't gell well in my head. Yes I want to be fit, but I want to be skinny (or skinnier), fitness is coming back as I get there :)
Anyway, I'm buggered, just finished a crazy case report.
I had an intake interview with a group therapy coordinator through uni the other week, and, as all intake interviews go, we spoke about my past.
We spoke about everything that happened as a teenager, then when I was admitted to Mirrabook.
Her take on what the traumatic event that triggered / was at the start of all my depression (being the peanut in my lung incident) was that it wasn't too long after that (a few years) that the depressive thinking etc started. So it doesn't have to be 'traumatic' as such but more of a negative 'memorable' event that occurs before the symptoms start.
And as I drew my timeline on the whiteboard for her I realised just how good it is to timeline things - I know it all in my head and when things happened, but seeing it in order was such an eye opener.
I told her how every now and then I try to force myself out of my body (for those of you who have been there - been mentally ill - you will know what I mean.). I try to make myself 'grow', to float up to the ceiling but I just cannt get it to happen - although I managed to do it once about 12mths ago I think it was - but it didn't last too long and once I was back down into my body I couldn't do it again. So when I was talking to the coordinator about it she was very impressed that I wasn't trying to avoid or ignore that sort of thing, but that I was actually trying to force it to happen.
The group therapy thing will be great, cannt wait for it to start. I should post about it when it gets started hey. And it is existentialist therapy - very interesting!!!
And I'm 4.7kg off what I weighed 4yrs ago too! How good is that!! I've been focusing so much lately on foods and exercise that I wonder if my perfectionism is going to get out of control or even if its starting to get out of control. I'm so focused on getting below 70kg, and determined to be below 65kg. The saying "exercise to be fit, not skinny' doesn't gell well in my head. Yes I want to be fit, but I want to be skinny (or skinnier), fitness is coming back as I get there :)
Anyway, I'm buggered, just finished a crazy case report.
